I am a self-proclaimed Word Nerd.

Seriously. I love language. I have had hour-long discussions about comma usage. And found it thoroughly entertaining. Sick, huh? You can have an endless debate about Oxford versus Chicago Manual comma usage. It can get heated. Sometimes you have to agree to disagree about that comma after the conjunction in a list. But you don’t need it. Just saying.

If I had to create a Word Nerd dating profile, it might look like this:

Word Nerd seeking impetuous sensual entanglement with fellow Language Lover.

Love language? Find syntax scintillating? Alliteration alluring? Find the rhythm and the rhyme of a poem sublime? Do you love the way “iambic pentameter” trips on your tongue? Is the best part of drinking wine creating a metaphorical description of its flavor? (A waft of aged oak barrel, a pinch of pepper, a hint of grapefruit with a pear and butter finish. Oh yeah!)

If so, call me for some word play, Baby, a linguistical link-up and lights on, hello-to-dawn conversatiON.

About Me:

Favorite punctuation mark: em dash

Favorite part-of-speech: gerund phrase

Grammar rule I ove to break: And that would be starting sentences with a conjunction.

Favorite figurative speech: oxymorons and a metaphor so good, it makes you tingle and coo

Favorite story structure: bildungsroman

Favorite phone apps: Wordscape and translation apps

Favorite website: Thesaurus.com

Favorite genre: Character-driven fiction

Favorite board game: Scrabble, of course

 

Given this unadulterated love affair with language, I thought I would focus today on one of my favorite figurative language tools: the oxymoron. 

An oxymoron is a figure of speech, usually a two-word phrase in which apparently contradictory terms appear in conjunction.

I like them because they make you think. You start to realize that in the lives of humans, contradictions often aren’t contradictions at all. We’re just that complex. So, a lot of oxymorons exist in our everyday language or can be used as accurate descriptors of our feelings.

Here are some fun examples of oxymorons:

Jumbo shrimp

Act natural

Alone together

Bad luck

Less is more

Seriously funny

Plastic glasses

Original copy

Awfully good

Bittersweet

Definite possibility

Exact estimate

Only choice

Civil war

Growing smaller

Friendly fire

Freezer burn

Old news

Deafening silence

Militant pacifist

Unbiased opinion

Weapons of peace

Random order

True fiction

Virtual reality

Working vacation

I love them! Pure wordplay. And the “short and long of it” is that the list goes on!

The term oxymoron is believed to come from ancient Greek—oxý(s) meaning “sharp,” and mōrós meaning “dull.” Others sources say "oxy" means "sharp, as in acute," and "moros" means "dumb or foolish." Either way, the word oxymoron actually is an oxymoron! 

Often a comedian will use faux oxymorons for satire or sarcasm. These are sometimes called "rhetorical oxymorons." They aren't technically opposites but create a satirical comment about some aspect of life. Examples are: Military intelligence. Airline food.

George Carlin has a famous routine about oxymorons recorded on his album Toledo Window Box.

You can find oxymorons in pop culture 

“Alone Together” is a song by Fall Out Boy.

Definitely, Maybe is a 2008 film.

Night of the Living Dead. You’ve probably heard of that one. A 1968 film.

There’s “The Sound of Silence” by Simon & Garfunkel

And the song lyrics in John Legend’s hit song “All of Me” (year?): “All your perfect imperfections” 

Here are a few oxymora (yes, that’s the plural) spoken by famous people:

William Shakespeare: "Why, then, O brawling love! O loving hate!" Romeo and Juliet (one of MANY by the Bard)

Clara Barton: “I distinctly remember forgetting that.”

Dolly Parton: “You’d be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap.”

Isaac Bashevis Singer: “We must believe in free will. We have no choice.”

Mark Twain: “It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.”

Now, I’m not the kind of Word Nerd that will correct someone’s grammar. Far be it! I love authentic voice in writing: word choices and syntax that are distinct for the narrator or character, that reflect how people really talk. When viewed from a standpoint of anthropological linguistics (Yes, there is such a field of study), you might be able to sleuth out the places a speaker has lived, their age, whether they tend towards extrovert or introvert, their gender identity and all kinds of other cultural influences on their language. It’s exciting.

 Playing with language is fun as well as powerful. What’s your favorite type of figurative language?